‘Wishing you a finely tuned, in depth conversation, between your inner most self, and the universal horizon.’ These were the words theologian Sylvia Grevel wrote in response to my revelation that my working life had taken a significant turn. I did not know what lay ahead.
Shifts in alignment between my inner most self and the outer world are erupting. Significant personal and work related incidents since Christmas 2022 have caused me to pause and reflect. My questions and book purchases have also led me to the workshops and supervision provided by Monica Suswin. In one of those encounters, I realised my inner most self was not supported and I needed to respond. I heeded Monica’s warning about unshackling myself too quickly from non nurturing contexts and so I happily continued trusting that I would act when I ‘knew’ what next, and open to the ‘other’ possibility that I may be in the right place.
I spent two glorious weekends away – one with Sylvia – nourishing the inner most me. This monring, I was ready for my working week ahead, and had intended to complete casenotes; write up the draft to a journalling workshop about ‘Writing into (not for) Wellbeing’; and complete a few outstanding admin tasks. But in the background, something else stirred. I knew I had to withdraw from a commitment. Whilst there was no intention to create dissension, I somehow felt that what I was about to do would unsettle everything.
It did.
Whilst the unravelling rolled out, I listened to a webinar interview with Eric Teplitz through my membership with the International Association of Journal Writers, an organisation I recently joined to support the “Journal Writer who happens to work as a Psychologist’. Eric raised questions about whether we thought possibilities sat latent in our lives – we do not know what may surface tomorrow. I realised I hadn’t believed in the possibilities that awaited me for a very long time. Possibilities, in my mind, were exclusive to younger lives.
Eighteen years ago, I turned to my journal to explore the possibility that wisdom lived latent in the darker recesses of my being. It turned out that it was not so latent, that it had been active all my life, and that my only ‘error’ was to not recognise it. A cycle has been completed and I now embark on another one, one that exploits further the power of something invisible but operative – a conversation between my inner most being (wisdom), and the universal horizon.
Since running community markets some years ago, I have been a big believer in putting innovative ideas and thinking on the horizon. Those innovations open up possibilities for everyone. So now I offer another one, one based on not knowing, on listening, on journalling to hear, and on trusting what surfaces. I am not going to do what I may have done in the past to secure my future. I am not going to scramble and put things in place. I am going to explore the possibility that between now and end June 2023, possibilities I could never dream of exist for me. With my journal to capture the questions, to write into the questions, to reveal thoughts and ideas beyond my current ‘stock’, let’s see what unfolds.
I talk with my school aged learners about what they do in class when they make spelling mistakes. Do they get a feeling in their body that something is wrong? Do they listen to that feeling and go back to the word or do they ignore it? They look at me quizzically. I then tell them that that feeling is their inbuilt ‘diviner’ for navigating life. Listen to it when spelling and not only will spelling improve but they build an important habit to guide them when out in the wide world on their own.
Just yesterday, after a very busy day, I was in that feeling and knew I had to quieten my thinking so that I could relax into what was ahead – a bbq evening meal and hanging out at home – without a screen. To calm my mind, the wisdom that appeared was to ride my bike around a local wetlands lake. Even though I was tired and it was slightly windy, the ride was beautiful. I noticed things I had never seen before, tracks into secret groves of paperbark trees, grasstrees that had obviously been rescued and transplanted with love, and people running, riding, playing … holding hands.
Listen to that intelligence and you jump the boundaries of time. Listen to that intelligence and you don’t have to wait for hindsight to gain wisdom. Listen to that intelligence and you gain wisdom immediately. I once knew a man who had a friendship that did not serve him well. The friend undermined this man’s family life and his words contributed to the dissolution of this man’s marriage. A decade of experience with this friend later, the man could see what he had ignored a decade earlier and ended the friendship. The sad part is that wisdom was knocking on his thinking all those years ago but he ignored it. He ignored it and then needed a decade more of chaos before he accepted wisdom’s words. Because wisdom (the formless) is always coming up against our formed thinking – an operating system devoid of acknowledgement of gifted Divine intelligence. It is the repository of original sin – an absence of awareness. But once we wake up to the very real presence of wisdom streaming through us everything changes. As we listen to it we no longer need so much painful experience in order to learn, we jump the boundaries of time.
Over the Christmas break I took several members of my family and my dogs away for a week. Our very rustic self catered accommodation was nestled in the quiet serenity of the southern forests and away from more popular tourist destinations. Kangaroos abounded and the nearest town was half an hour away. In my mind it was perfect for time to read, write and reflect. Not so. All decision making and physical work rested with me. My dogs had to accompany us everywhere, a troublesome knee flared and I spent much of the time in pain. But whilst I was overloaded with responsibility, I also knew that the overwhelm I was experiencing was all my own creation. Thought and consciousness come together to create experience, for everyone, and I was no exception.
Georgina Mavor 