Have you noticed how some of us can spend too much time talking about what others have said or think about us, and what we do, whilst we pay significantly less attention to our own perspective? Imagine an art class. In the centre is an object or person to be drawn or painted and on every student’s easel is a unique and different perspective, one of which is our own. Time is spent looking at and absorbing each, sensing for the nuances captured in each representation. How much we could learn from this process. When I hear people caught up in other people’s perspectives, I wonder what happened to their own? Why was it discarded so quickly?

Many decades ago, during my own journey in the Family Court, the standout piece of advice my lawyer offered was to stand up for what I believed in. Even if my perspective wasn’t deemed by judges in the end to be the ‘soundest’ one, my lawyer was of the view that to have stood up for what I stood for, was better than asking myself ‘what if’ when it was all over. I took that advice and gave my perspective at least equal standing to that of the other party. I hung on to what I knew was true for me – until I heard anything to the contrary that would change that perspective, which did occur every now and then.

Everyone has a separate perspective (reality) on everything in life, and we all have separate perspectives even when we are looking at the same thing. To ‘hero’ one perspective over another reflects a misunderstanding of the fact that everyone is creating their own perspective, their own reality in the moment and none have any greater accuracy or validity – until something deeper is heard. And that can only occur if initially both or all perspectives are given equal space of our minds.

The next time you find yourself emphasizing what another person says or thinks or does, stop, turn inwards and consider what you think. What’s your truth? Hang it on the wall of your mind alongside others. What in your perspective feels true? What evidence do you have? We are all brushing up against the ‘elephant’ of life. It is bigger than a lifetime will allow us to know completely. No one person can.

And if someone else doesn’t want to hear what’s in your perspective, then they suffer the same error, only in reverse. They ‘hero’ their perspective over others.

Every artist begins as a beginner. Every artist must begin. Every artist must put something on the canvas in order to begin the process of going deeper … seeing something different … more nuanced …more truthful. The same applies to the palette of our mind. Begin with what you know. Begin with your truth. ‘Hero’ it just as much as you ‘hero’ the perspective of others. And when you hear something more truthful, allow it to touch the canvas of your mind and imbue your truth with depth.