Tag Archives: Possibility Psychology

Wellbeing is in a Nice Feeling

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IMG_0742Last night my daughter and I went to see the feel-good movie, Little Women, at a feel-good venue, Burswood Outdoor Community Cinema. It was a magical evening. A cool breeze swept up off the nearby river as people began to line up, picnic baskets in hand, half an hour before the doors opened. People greeted each other warmly as they found friends, whilst strangers struck up conversations and families gathered at communal barbeques and under pagodas nearby. I stood in line to buy tickets and was shortly joined by a woman who turned out to be the Marketing Manager for European Foods, a major sponsor of the yearly event.

We began to talk and when she found out I hadn’t purchased my tickets,  she offered me free ones! The company had purchased 300 tickets for staff, clients and members, and as not all had been taken up, I was the very lucky recipient of a free double pass. I was so grateful, people can be so generous, even to strangers. After booking our bean bags, my daughter and I moved inside and made ourselves comfortable. I had already cooked our food, and after purchasing drinks we settled down for our own pre-movie snacks and meal.

IMG_0737Whilst eating, a warm-hearted young lady came by selling tickets as part of the cinema’s fundraising efforts. Every night, for the duration of the summer program at 4 cinema outlets, volunteers sell tickets, run the food and drink outlets, distribute beanbags, show the film, clean up and probably much more than I am aware of. They are amazing and their generous spirit makes a huge difference to the feeling that permeates each screening. This young lady went on to tell me that she volunteers three nights a week at two of the outlets plus she volunteers at Edmund Rice Camps WA for disadvantaged children. She was so enthusiastic and I have no doubt she has coopted others to join her in her community building activities.

The movie began and the crowd was immediately captivated by a fresh take on the classic tale of the struggles and lives of four sisters. I was drawn into the writing life of the main character, Jo March. I found myself yearning for a time when screens and distractions weren’t around to intrude on the writing impulse. The possibility of writing a novel is not one I have yet stepped into but nib pens, ink bottles, secluded space and candlelight certainly make it enticing.

How lucky we are to live in a time when we have so many stories to tell (and write) if we have had the faith to live them. Possibilities for our stories certainly go way beyond the story of our ancestor Homo Erectus thousands of years ago. “I stood up” doesn’t make for a rich story but that impulse to step out beyond the usual is the same that flows through us now. The life force that flows from a place of wellbeing within drives our stories. All that has unfolded since then has come from that space.

Creating, living and writing spirited stories takes a willingness to listen to the depths of our being and to follow through. They come from a garden bed of good feeling and wellbeing within everyone. I am very blessed to hear the stories of the women I write with and also to be part of the life story creating journey of the young people I mentor about psychological wellbeing. Sometimes we need help to know that our life stories beyond our conditioning are worth pursuing and unfolding to fruition. Sometimes our young people need help to bring their own version of Jo March into being.

Who knows what has unfolded from within the people who were at that feel good movie in a feel good setting last night. Coming alive from the inside can happen anywhere, anytime. It is however sown in a good feeling. How lucky we are to live in a society that fosters that.

Slice of Life

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In a recent FB post, I pointed to the existence of innate wisdom in us all and, when we are in a relaxed frame of mind, its emergence as a shift in consciousness. Wisdom can unfold at any time, regardless of whether we are in the presence of an experienced practitioner or not.

Today, however, I’d like to highlight the value of hanging out with experienced practitioners, whether one on one, in groups or via books, podcasts or blog posts. Each person (practising in this field or not) who has had a deep insight into the principles behind our experience of life has had a momentary, intimate experience with/exposure to a small slice of a much bigger phenomenon. We are like the blind men bumping up against an elephant, describing what they claim to be the entire beast and not realising that the entirety of the best cannot be fully grasped in one small handspan. Yes, what they encountered was the beast, they got a glimmer of it but not its entirety. As have people who have had a deep insight into a sliver of the principles by which we create our experience of Life. At that moment, they brushed up against the nature of the principles but not their entirety. And nor do we need to. Syd Banks always said ‘explore the nature of Mind, or the nature of Consciousness, or the Nature of Thought, and you will find your way, because they are all the same.’

IMG_0686Some time ago, in a mentoring session with a client, the client broke down at the thought of a family member’s unthinking remark. What I initially brought to that moment was what I have seen about the innate existence of wisdom in us all and how it played out in that scenario. The activity of innate wisdom is my slice I have seen deeply. Other West Australian practitioners most probably would have responded differently based on their own deep insights. John Wood may initially have responded with an exploration into whether the thinking in that moment arose out of the realm of Possibility, or whether it was habitual, conditioned thinking from Impossibility. Terrie Sanders may have initially gently guided my client back into a good feeling because she has experienced deeply the power of that good feeling to change. Whilst Rolf Clausnitzer, being firmly grounded in the simplicity of the Three Principle understanding of the inside out nature of our experience, may have drawn attention to the fact that my client’s feelings were created from their thinking and not to take it seriously.

Initially, at least, each of us may have brought the slice of what we have seen deeply about the principles by which human beings create their experience of life to that moment in this mentoring session. And none of us would have been wrong. Where the session would have gone from there I don’t know. All of us know the infinite potential that every human mind can access. I do know however we would all have listened deeply.

So hang out with others, read books, listen to podcasts, and write. I’m not sure any human being can fully grasp the expansiveness and infinite nature of the principles behind Life but if we stay open and listen deeply, then wisdom within will respond and reveal a sliver that expands our slice of understanding. Our consciousness shifts from within and every time it does, we become more fully alive.

Before Understanding

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IMG_0208 (002)Before understanding gravity and its influence on planets and tides, ancient people thought the planets were pushed around by angels and that supernatural forces governed the tides. People’s thinking was out of sync with the natural phenomenon of gravity. And from that thinking, misaligned behaviours followed. Ancient peoples, not understanding the earth’s rotation and movement of the planets, used to light fires on the horizon to attract the sun back each day. They were afraid it wouldn’t return.

However, once Newton articulated the principle of gravity, people’s thinking and behaviour changed. The ‘crazy’ stuff stopped. When how we think and talk about a natural phenomenon aligns with the truth about how it works, our behaviours become less ‘crazy’.

The same is true with the phenomenon of the innate wisdom that flows through every human being. It comes to us via thought and the more our thinking attunes to it, the more easily we recognise it in a feeling of ‘right’. Like the ancients who didn’t understand gravity and got lost in emotions, behaviours and habits that were misaligned with the phenomenon of gravity, so too do human beings get lost in emotions, behaviours and habits that are misaligned with the phenomenon on innate wisdom. In both cases, the erroneous thinking of human beings, before clear understanding, creates bizarre behaviour.

Adolescence is the perfect time to educate about the phenomenon of innate wisdom and the role of thinking in aligning with the principle of innate wisdom or sending us down rabbit holes. In adolescence, thinking capacities expand and our young people become more aware of the dynamics around them. When I work with those young people trying to make sense of their lives, they clearly see the misaligned behaviours in the adult circles around them, but (a) they don’t have the understanding to think about those behaviours in a way that makes sense, and (b) because no one talks about innate wisdom, they don’t look to that for validation and instead make up, and get locked into, all sorts of other stuff about themselves and their situation.

Adolescents experience innate wisdom about their contexts; they need space to voice what comes from it. Their wisdom or common sense needs to be validated, otherwise, we are ‘crazymaking’ them. Adolescents experience shifts in mood; the role of thought in that shift can be brought to awareness and adolescents can see they are not their state of mind. Adolescents know the thinking that sits under their anger, sadness and frustration; it often relates to power (or perceived lack of it). They need adults with an understanding of innate wisdom to help them to let those thoughts go and allow innate wisdom to mature their thinking and their way in the world.

We have a long way to go before the majority of humanity understands clearly the phenomenon of innate wisdom, but the change has started. Innate wisdom is active in everyone and can be heard in the words of many when talking about solutions to their lives. Unfortunately, with an absence of understanding about innate wisdom and the role of thought, we don’t think clearly about what is present and like the ancients, continue to get immersed in behaviours that don’t make sense. We need an understanding that allows us to think more clearly about what already exists. We need an understanding of innate wisdom and the role of thought so that our thinking about ourselves and each other aligns with innate wisdom instead of negating it. With a clear understanding, our innate mental health is worked with instead of fought against. With understanding, the ancients could stop lighting fires on the horizon to attract the sun. One day we too can stop engaging in crazy behaviours to attract mental health. We can all come home to truth.

Possibility in Perth

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As the train pulled into the Perth station, I watched the young man before me walk past our carriage door and ahead to the door in the next carriage. I realised that if he exited at that door, the would alight at the foot of the escalator and beat the exiting commuter squeeze. I followed.

Day 5 of the Australian Writers’ Centre MOJO Month was on my mind. ‘Do something special and unexpected for someone else.’ I had decided to buy a coffee for one of the homeless people that inhabited the train station concourse and Perth Cultural Centre.

Past the boutique street food vendors at the Yagan Centre, up another flight of stairs and through the gaps in traffic on the Horseshoe Bridge, I entered the Alice in Wonderland feel of the urban garden. Perfectly manicured squares of lawn; lemon, lime and native trees; rosemary, fennel and lavender; were just some of the sights and smells that now adorned this once derelict area.

IMG_0576A man sat on a bench under a tree casually eating fruit, whilst a woman sat at one of the iron tables writing notes in her journal. Two men in wheelchairs and their carers enjoyed a coffee in the middle of the garden whilst another group of skinny males, garnished in dirty jeans and black windcheaters, hands shaking as they tried to hold their take away coffee cups, tried to light the cigarette stubs in their hands.

But no homeless person skirted the boundaries. No pieces of cardboard with hand written words in black marking pen; no empty hats on the ground; no shopping trolleys filled with plastic bags containing personal treasures. Today wasn’t looking like the day for my random act of kindness.

I ventured over to the coffee carriage. A group of high school students in black and red blazers sat in the fake grass area adorned with hand made planter boxes and secondhand tables and chairs. Two men were caught in an awkward embrace, seemingly unsure of whether they were friends or foe, but extracted themselves with the words, “I love you man.”

Whilst standing in the warmth of the early morning sun peering over the man made swamp behind me, I ordered my latte and chatted with the barista about why I was in Perth and the creativity of the students at the local TAFE College.

Coffee in hand we wished each other a great day and it was then that I  noticed a woman sitting next to her trolley at the side of the Art Gallery. She was scrunched over a book, pencil in hand. I had seen her before. She was rolling a cigarette. I walked over.

“Hello, I see you every time I come into the city. You have the perfect spot here to catch the morning sun. Would you like a coffee?”

A wrinkled face with smoke stained teeth looked up at me, her fingers suspended in the air mid way in her cigarette making operation. “Yes, but I’ve just had one.”

I looked at the white empty mug beside her. “Would you like another one?”

“No thank you.”

“Okay, have a lovely day.”

“You too.”

I walked away, mission not accomplished, but I noticed a lightness in my heart that hadn’t been there before. I crossed the concrete pedestrian bridge, expecting to see more of the ‘regulars’ but found no one so I entered the automatic doors of the Citiplace Community Centre and the meeting I was there to attend.

Three hours later I emerged and walked through the train station, across another concrete bridge to the Myer and through the Forrest Place complex. Building renovations had been underway in this area for months. Pedestrians were routed through boarded up tunnels with painted illusory mirrors and swirling flowers. Renovations over, I now walked through ultra clean glass lined walkways with brass bollards and marble floors, not a speck of grime in sight. Dirty concrete stairwells had been removed; access to designer label clothing boutiques taunted passersby; and lounge areas with free ‘buy for your body shape’ workshops had appeared.

I walked to the Hay Street Mall to buy a recommended book from Dymocks and followed the business crowd thronging into the ENEX Food Court to see if I could buy something small to quell my growling stomach,

Women in tight fitting black skirts and jackets; metro men in body hugging shirts, dapper shoes and thin legged trousers; and round, ruddy faced men with shirts bulging at the waistline; sat at every table talking business and eating vast platefuls of food. I perched on a plastic stool at a thin plastic bench and ate two Vietnamese rice paper rolls filled mostly with lettuce and noodles, accompanied by a shiny brown sauce, plum, I assume.

Back in the sunshine, I commenced my return journey to the train station. As I walked across the Myer overpass, I noticed a coiled up figure hiding behind a shabby piece of cardboard with the usual black writing scrawled across in fine print. Long stringy blonde hair hung like rats’ tails over his face. Thin arms and legs made little impression under the lightweight long sleeved t shirt and trousers that hung on his body. His hardened feet were bare.

I tried to walk past but couldn’t ignore the impulse to approach him. I turned around and bent down.

“Hello, do you drink coffee?” I asked.

A thin, grey face punctuated by even greyer teeth looked at me. “Yes,” he replied.

“Would you like one?”

“Yes, please.”

“What would you like? Latte? Capuccino?”

“Latte please.”

“And how many sugars do you like?” I was expecting him to say ‘3 or 4’.

“Oh, just a quarter of a teaspoon.”

“Okay, and would you like something to eat?”

“Er, no thank you.”

“Are you sure? It’s not a problem.”

“No, I’m fine thankyou. Just a coffee would be great.”

I purchased a large latte from the cafe next door, and as he was talking with someone when I returned, I unobtrusively placed it and some extra sugar by his side. Before walking away I noticed a woman filming him from across the walkway.

I have made comment on the inside out dynamics of this experience, and the profound impact it has had on my deepening into Possibility, on my FB page, Possibility Psychology.

A Feeling of Unease

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Sometimes a general feeling of unease comes over me, and I am unable to shift it. I know it is just thought but knowing that doesn’t make a difference. Sometimes the feeling shifts with a good night’s sleep, but sometimes I get many good nights’ sleep and the feeling continues anyway.

On those occasions, writing in my journal works. But I cannot approach the writing trying to analyse my experience from the inside out ‘understandings’ that I know. Trying to interpret my experience in those moments through those understandings does not work. But if I approach my writing with an open mind, allowing my thoughts and writing to meander where they will, without ‘imposing’, something magic happens. Staying in the openness is different to staying in what I already know. Staying in the openness is where I discover and see anew.

Writing is a process of discovery. Thought is both conscious and unconscious and possibly everything in between.  If I am caught up in unconscious thinking, then perhaps an open writing process in which I am guided by wisdom/possibility/thought from beyond my usual habits can bring clarity to the surface, both about the thoughts building the feelings of malaise, and the possibility that awaits. Writing allows form to emerge around both. When possibility births into form, my experience changes. I change.

This morning’s journal writing brought clarity to both. I began by writing down what occupied my mind. I had been reflecting upon my personal states of mind that weren’t comfortable and wondered if a better state was more accessible. I recalled a quote from Syd Banks which I attempted to locate through someone I follow on Twitter, only to find that the quote could be saying something completely different to what I had understood when I read it. So I wrote that, I wrote about what it could mean and what I thought it meant. My mind then moved on people and events currently in my life. I kept writing what surfaced. I stayed honest with myself and before long some interesting thoughts emerged that I had not been aware of. “Oh, so that is what this is all about.” I continued with no censoring, just allowing the next thought to arrive and I recorded it.

I kept on in this way until the writing felt finished. I was clearer, I could now see some of the thoughts that had been at play. As nothing felt like it needed to be written I walked to the bathroom to take a shower. My thoughts were still floating through and as I turned on the hot water I had an insight about the words of another person and the meaning I was imposing onto those words. Ooh, another moment of liberation in which I could see how my thinking was contributing to the ill at ease feelings I was experiencing. An image of a different possibility for myself came in next, with such clarity that all the other stuff fell away. I had shifted.

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I wrote in my journal what had come to me in the shower. What do I know deeper from this experience? It doesn’t matter how much we understand how we create an inside out experience of life via thought, when we hit those times when we feel dispirited and have no clarity, be open to allowing thought to flow – even when what surfaces flies in the face of where an inside out understanding tells us to focus. The depth of our inside out understanding is also evolving. Each of us has to be true to what is unfolding for ourselves if we are to be part of a broader evolution. When working with writing, be open to starting somewhere and allowing your flow of thought to take you where you need to go.

Maybe our experiences of writing from a state of openness is the bigger teacher.