I sit at my writing desk, looking out the window at the bushland beyond. Rain was forecast. Instead, we have the usual dry ground and stillness in the air.

This week I realized that COVID 19 restrictions have erased the ‘softer touch’ people interactions that counterbalanced the demands and responsibilities of my work, homeschooling, and maintaining the haven I call home. Gone are the sparkling eyes, laughs and ‘ocker’ banter of the Vietnamese lunch bar proprietors; gone are the smiles on the fresh faces of young women, in 50’s attire, hair bound with scarves, at my favourite cafe; and gone are the unexpected encounters at the local supermarket with characters I recognize from my working-class neighbourhood. Small interactions that provided a counterbalance I didn’t have to rally to my overwhelmed mind are now missing.

I know that the mediator to all experience is my thinking. Pre COVID 19, there was enough ‘wiggle room’ awareness of what I was hosting in my mind to let go of ‘angsty’ thinking when it arose. But things are different now. With the COVID 19 restrictions, I have lost those nurturing, interactive moments that effortlessly ignited positive thoughts to warm my heart and maintain my proximity to inner contentment. Now, my public and sometimes working life ‘living landscape of people interactions’ is more often tense and abrasive. Without the everyday ‘softer touch’ people interactions, my ‘wiggle room’ has silently departed and my mind has meandered into the wilderness.

How to counteract what I now see so clearly?

An overseas friend, a terrific, warmhearted woman and a kindred spirit (living in much tougher circumstances than my own), has suggested we videoconference for an hour, once a week, just to take time out, to talk about how we are going, to listen and to laugh. Imagine how different life could be for many if we initiated the same with one other person and invited them to do the same with another. Two hours a week to consciously spread care and warmth. An act of kindness that it is so needed by those who live alone and don’t have the buffer of another caring adult in the home. I already have my ‘one other’ in mind.

My second commitment is to say hello and to smile at all those I pass as I walk my dog and ride my bike. Partners walking their golden retriever, terriers, and dachshunds, and fathers helping their little ones to ride small two-wheeler bikes now regularly appear on the firebreak bordering the Australian bushland across the road from my home. All wave from a distance and say hello. State housing commission tenants imbibing from large Pepsi or Coca Cola bottles on their front porch also say hello. These small acts have lifted my spirits. I intend to ‘pay it on.’

I also notice those blogs, videos, tweets, pictures, and posts that calm and nurture versus those that further intellectualize or deliberately manipulate our lived experiences of life under COVID 19. The latter creates a ‘tighter’ feel within. They don’t reflect the breadth of thought we experience and nor do they align with all that makes us human. Vast expanses of joy, sorrow, laughter, compassion, anger, and fear roll, like thunderous waves in a storm through our psyches. Narrow apertures can not contain nor shape the truth of our inner worlds, and nor do they provide the balance that ‘softer touch’ interactions gift to peace of mind. Instead, they take us further away from inner contentment and add to an increased sense of unnamed angst. We need counterbalances that reflect a fullness to life. My final commitment is to feature ‘softer touch’  moments I encounter, ones that automatically ignite the heart, and nudge angst on its way. The sparks that resonate with being fully human needs fanning.

Rain now falls outside.