Tag Archives: change

Internal Tremors

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‘Wishing you a finely tuned, in depth conversation, between your inner most self, and the universal horizon.’ These were the words theologian Sylvia Grevel wrote in response to my revelation that my working life had taken a significant turn. I did not know what lay ahead.

Shifts in alignment between my inner most self and the outer world are erupting. Significant personal and work related incidents since Christmas 2022 have caused me to pause and reflect. My questions and book purchases have also led me to the workshops and supervision provided by Monica Suswin. In one of those encounters, I realised my inner most self was not supported and I needed to respond. I heeded Monica’s warning about unshackling myself too quickly from non nurturing contexts and so I happily continued trusting that I would act when I ‘knew’ what next, and open to the ‘other’ possibility that I may be in the right place.

I spent two glorious weekends away – one with Sylvia – nourishing the inner most me. This monring, I was ready for my working week ahead, and had intended to complete casenotes; write up the draft to a journalling workshop about ‘Writing into (not for) Wellbeing’; and complete a few outstanding admin tasks. But in the background, something else stirred. I knew I had to withdraw from a commitment. Whilst there was no intention to create dissension, I somehow felt that what I was about to do would unsettle everything.

It did.

Whilst the unravelling rolled out, I listened to a webinar interview with Eric Teplitz through my membership with the International Association of Journal Writers, an organisation I recently joined to support the “Journal Writer who happens to work as a Psychologist’. Eric raised questions about whether we thought possibilities sat latent in our lives – we do not know what may surface tomorrow. I realised I hadn’t believed in the possibilities that awaited me for a very long time. Possibilities, in my mind, were exclusive to younger lives.

Eighteen years ago, I turned to my journal to explore the possibility that wisdom lived latent in the darker recesses of my being. It turned out that it was not so latent, that it had been active all my life, and that my only ‘error’ was to not recognise it. A cycle has been completed and I now embark on another one, one that exploits further the power of something invisible but operative – a conversation between my inner most being (wisdom), and the universal horizon.

Since running community markets some years ago, I have been a big believer in putting innovative ideas and thinking on the horizon. Those innovations open up possibilities for everyone. So now I offer another one, one based on not knowing, on listening, on journalling to hear, and on trusting what surfaces. I am not going to do what I may have done in the past to secure my future. I am not going to scramble and put things in place. I am going to explore the possibility that between now and end June 2023, possibilities I could never dream of exist for me. With my journal to capture the questions, to write into the questions, to reveal thoughts and ideas beyond my current ‘stock’, let’s see what unfolds.

Beliefs Have A ‘Use By’ Date

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At the time of writing this post, it is Australia Day. In years gone by, cars could be seen laden with Australian flags; dwellings acquired flagpoles; t-shirts were emblazoned with red, white and blue; and crowd faces looked like the set of Braveheart movie. Festivals were created, bands played, people drank (a lot) and fireworks lit up the sky.

Not so this year. Not one car with a flag sighted locally. Not one painted face. Much less merchandise. Australia Day celebrations silenced.

Not too long ago, voices of dissent to our entrenched interpretation of the day could be heard and different festivals emerged – ones grounded in truth telling about the invasion that usurped the traditional cultures and roles of our indigenous peoples. It soon became clear that the thinking and beliefs that framed our behaviours on 26 January had reached their ‘use by’ date. They no longer served the nation we wish to be.

The same process of change occurs in all of us – if we pay attention. Just as the beliefs underpinning Australia Day were a ‘narrow slice’ on the bigger picture, so too are the beliefs we create in our formative years about ourselves, our potentials, our abilities, our values …. the list goes on. They serve us for a while, but with time, discontent niggles within – a more mature voice wishes to be heard. If we pay attention, change can be peaceful. If not, the limits of our beliefs break and an eruption occurs. Relationships become untenable, health problems erupt, work loses its pizzazz, or we don’t like what we see in the mirror. The tiny, narrow, slivers of understanding we formed in times long gone by about the amazing power of life pulsating through everything, including ourselves, are revealed for the schtick they are.

Australian’s are embracing a different, fuller, more accurate perspective on their national day. Not everyone at the same time, but it is happening. The same occurs with our understanding of ourselves. If we slow down and listen to the niggles, exploring their content, accuracy and relevance to our current contexts, we can wake up to the expiry of the ‘use by’ date of the beliefs that drive us behind the scenes, and be open to what comes next. For change comes from within. The new thoughts that are emerging for our celebrations of this nation come from within individuals, and like a ripple effect, increasingly resonate with those who are open to listening. Deep within, we are all ‘truth seekers’ and in our own lives, the voice of fresh truth also resonates – if we listen.

Change is wired in to the flow of life, including through ourselves. Fresh thought in the form of impulses or words powers every tendril of innovation, creativity and evolution. Downfalls occur when that ‘nudge’ is ignored.

Have you listened to the niggles in the back of your mind? Do you give yourself permission to sit down and explore them through a journal? What fears get in the way? What unfounded fears about your Self sit below them? What changes would you be liberated to embrace and manifest if, like a 2021 bottle of sweet chilli sauce, you threw your beliefs that have passed their expiry date in the bin!