Ageing is niggling in the back of my mind. My body is changing, I am dreaming of leaves in which the chlorophyll has turned yellow, and in a moment of clarity, I woke up and knew I could just as easily die from an unexpected heart attack now as I could from dementia twenty years down the track. Nothing should be taken for granted.

The deeper nuggets of wisdom in the niggle arose out of the realization about the timing of my death. Is my Will up to date? Maybe now is the time to get around to working through an advanced care plan? I need to ensure my meagre assets aren’t devoured by hefty admin costs and I need to ensure I have a say about what happens to me should an unexpected downturn assault my body.

Ageing and death naturally surface in human consciousness as time goes on. As with any other time in life, we can easily get caught up in fearful thinking – and miss the wisdom that sits in the niggle. Many adults plan for retirement – probably because someone makes money out of it and dollars are invested into advertising. Media promotion however creates an expectation of what these periods in our lives should look like and they miss the non monetary forms that many elect. When people listen to the niggles in the back of their mind, a broader range of options resonate.

When it comes to frailty and dying, the two biggest service providers are Residential Aged Care and Funeral Services. Options are appearing on the horizon for lower cost and different form funeral services, eg. Tender Funerals. Advanced Care Planning provides a framework to consider living arrangements when frail, and the timing of a good death rather than a long depersonalized one.

So I listen to the niggle and book an appointment to review my Will. I also dedicate a day to work through the excellent resources available for Advanced Care Planning and Directives. This is inner work, using the questions raised to explore my values, to imagine different scenarios and to influence choices down the track when I may not have the faculties to do so.

Whilst I incorporate the wisdom of the niggles into my tasks, I continue to live what is present. I keep up with my home based exercise regime and walking; I eat healthy, home cooked meals; I work, I laugh, and I care. I enjoy all the the nuances of my life, including this little fella.

A wild bird feeder began as a ‘nice idea’. What I didn’t realise is that they tell their friends and before I knew it, I had flocks fighting in my front yard. Three birds emerged as needing help. Being a clean bird by nature, filth reflects poor health. This one is the healthiest looking of the three. With eyes like dark empty sockets, one looks like Uncle Festus from The Adams Family. Its beak is broken and its feathers are falling out. The other is covered in red dust with mauled tail feathers. I enjoy the slowing down and being present they require in my day.

Listen to the wisdom in the niggles in the back of your mind, continue to live your life, and enjoy its contents. If we get caught up in the fearful thinking that can surface, not only do we not do what’s needed to enable a good end of life, we miss out on all the living in between.