How easily we fall into the trap of believing the words we say about ‘I’.

‘I’ am someone who doesn’t like conflict.

‘I’ am the sort of person who doesn’t do worksheets.

‘I’ have never been one to pay attention to what’s going on with my body.

Etc. etc.

What we are really saying is ‘I observe that my brain has been wired to not like conflict and I have never been taught the skills that would allow me to engage with it.’

‘I observe that my brain has not been wired to engage with worksheets.’

‘I observe that my brain has never been taught to pay attention to my body.

Too much of what we ascribe to ourselves, is, in fact, the result of experiences that have ‘wired in’ certain approaches/behaviours which we, in our ignorance, think are who we are.

This isn’t true.Our brains are plastic. What has been wired in, isn’t who we are. And what hasn’t been wired in is still possible.

The next time you find yourself saying ‘I am …’ either to yourself or to others, pause. Write, ‘I have learned to ….’ Explore where you learned that behaviour and who taught you either through deeds or words. Then explore if you wish to remain restricted to that approach or whether you would like to learn to do things differently. Write to discover how you might do that. Trust the process and see what hits the page.