‘Wishing you a finely tuned, in depth conversation, between your inner most self, and the universal horizon.’ These were the words theologian Sylvia Grevel wrote in response to my revelation that my working life had taken a significant turn. I did not know what lay ahead.

Shifts in alignment between my inner most self and the outer world are erupting. Significant personal and work related incidents since Christmas 2022 have caused me to pause and reflect. My questions and book purchases have also led me to the workshops and supervision provided by Monica Suswin. In one of those encounters, I realised my inner most self was not supported and I needed to respond. I heeded Monica’s warning about unshackling myself too quickly from non nurturing contexts and so I happily continued trusting that I would act when I ‘knew’ what next, and open to the ‘other’ possibility that I may be in the right place.

I spent two glorious weekends away – one with Sylvia – nourishing the inner most me. This monring, I was ready for my working week ahead, and had intended to complete casenotes; write up the draft to a journalling workshop about ‘Writing into (not for) Wellbeing’; and complete a few outstanding admin tasks. But in the background, something else stirred. I knew I had to withdraw from a commitment. Whilst there was no intention to create dissension, I somehow felt that what I was about to do would unsettle everything.

It did.

Whilst the unravelling rolled out, I listened to a webinar interview with Eric Teplitz through my membership with the International Association of Journal Writers, an organisation I recently joined to support the “Journal Writer who happens to work as a Psychologist’. Eric raised questions about whether we thought possibilities sat latent in our lives – we do not know what may surface tomorrow. I realised I hadn’t believed in the possibilities that awaited me for a very long time. Possibilities, in my mind, were exclusive to younger lives.

Eighteen years ago, I turned to my journal to explore the possibility that wisdom lived latent in the darker recesses of my being. It turned out that it was not so latent, that it had been active all my life, and that my only ‘error’ was to not recognise it. A cycle has been completed and I now embark on another one, one that exploits further the power of something invisible but operative – a conversation between my inner most being (wisdom), and the universal horizon.

Since running community markets some years ago, I have been a big believer in putting innovative ideas and thinking on the horizon. Those innovations open up possibilities for everyone. So now I offer another one, one based on not knowing, on listening, on journalling to hear, and on trusting what surfaces. I am not going to do what I may have done in the past to secure my future. I am not going to scramble and put things in place. I am going to explore the possibility that between now and end June 2023, possibilities I could never dream of exist for me. With my journal to capture the questions, to write into the questions, to reveal thoughts and ideas beyond my current ‘stock’, let’s see what unfolds.