During the week, I read ‘The Secret of Love’ by Lori Carpenos and Christine Heath. It weaves wisdom, stories of love and behaviours that can interfere with it.

A few very poignant understandings stood out.

There is only one ‘truth’ and that is that you are the thinker of your life. Every thought is like a dot appearing out of nothing. Sometimes they are created out of our natural state and sometimes they are created from our memory (learned). All of them activate neurological pathways and are experienced in the body and mind. Our perfect makeup brings thoughts alive. The fact that we are the thinker is the only truth, even though the content of our thinking can appear and feel true.

We are always (and only) in a relationship with our own thinking. Our thoughts are the medium through which we experience the external world. Our thoughts create ‘molecules of emotion’ (Dr Candace Pert) which we physically experience. Create negative thoughts and we will experience those, choose positive ones and we will experience those. Nothing outside us creates our personal feelings, although there are many, many low feeling behaviours and events now occurring in the world.

Everyone is thinking different thoughts, so everyone is having a different experience of circumstances, even the same ones. You cannot eradicate differences in any relationship.

When in relationship with another it is your thinking about differences that makes the difference in the quality of your relationship. All differences can be seen for what they are – innocent expressions of the thinking we are entertaining. Decide what differences you can live with and ones that you can’t. It is possible to love another and decide not to live or be with them.

When looking for an experience of love, whether on your own or with another, you are looking for a beautiful feeling, in yourself, and/or someone who wants to share that – above everything else. You are looking for someone who is willing to explore what’s possible when we drop negative thinking and interact only when reconnected with thought from our natural state.

Love is the natural state of Thought. Drop the dots of negative thinking and experience the warm feeling, the spontaneous eruptions of gratefulness and the wisdom that resides in the natural state of Love. Love is and can be experienced regardless of our external circumstances.

Falling in love, or falling out of it, are both an internal process of falling in the stream of thought called Love or entertaining negative thoughts that make their cheeky appearance and falling out of Love. Imagine sitting on a jetty, basking in the warm sunlight, luxuriating in the feeling on your skin and soul. A strong thought emerges to jump in to the murky water below and because you know nothing different, you follow that thought. Your mind panics, thoughts run wild and you cannot navigate the dark depths. You see a ladder beside the jetty and climb out. You resume your place on the jetty and begin to warm up again. In hindsight, you wonder why you followed that thought in the first place.