Ever pondered loneliness and what it is really about?

I am not in intimate relationship, haven’t been for quite some time, and for many months on end that circumstance doesn’t even cross my mind. But today, I had a moment when I felt a gaping hole of isolation and loneliness within.

It was a fleeting moment, and I tried not to pay too much attention to it, but a troubling thought had birthed a troubled feeling and it wasn’t going away. All my moments thereafter seemed to be tarnished with that feeling , and as the afternoon progressed, my state of being deteriorated. Unlike Santa joyously handing out beautiful gifts from abundance, I felt more and more burdened with bleakness.

By the time I got home I felt the impulse from beyond the troubled feeling to find a quiet space and write.  I grabbed my journal and retired to my room to write. No censoring, no plan for where it would take me, just put down the thoughts that came. A paragraph or two and clarity began to emerge.

Every day I live a very rich and fulfilling everyday life. No glamour, just getting out there and doing what I do, allowing my thoughts to come and go and enjoying insights as they come. For years, I have lived those ‘everydays’ without a significant other and been untouched by thoughts made up about that. Until today, when, in a split second, my thinking created a deeper level of meaning around a circumstance and I was left feeling sad and lonely.

Thought, not events, creates our feelings. Thoughts create the ebb and flow of feelings as we move through our day and if we leave them alone they pass by. It was truly liberating to see the deeper meaning I had created with my thinking about the experience of not having a significant other. I am on my own and for 99.9% of my days I make no meaning out of that and live fully engaged with life. But today, I created a different experience of the very same everyday ordinariness. Our experience of life is truly inside out.

We are all not really alone. The insights, the ‘aha’ moments, the clarity, those experiences all come through us – from somewhere way beyond the boundaries of our selves. We are all always wisdom … oneness …  and if we are experiencing anything different, we are thankfully just making it up. Listen to innate wisdom and our creations disappear.